Quit Advertising The USPS With My Money

This observation is far from scientific. Not only is it not statistically valid, it is mere opinion and observation.

You cannot avoid USPS ads on their one rate shipping boxes. They are everywhere. Tonight I even noticed them sponsoring the evening news with Charlie Gibson. What is their advertising budget and why are we spending like drunken sailors?

Here's the unscientific part. I think, if anyone totalled the ad placement of USPS, FedX, and UPS, the postal service would be on my TV screen more than the two private companies combined!

How can any organization be so stupid to sell Forever stamps and advertise more than two major, private companies? I'll tell you how. They know that we stupid saps will continue to fund the USPS, so there is no penalty for faulty business decisions. Scream to your congressmen.

When They Say I'm Terminal, I'm Going To Hardees

I wasn't totally unprepared for Hardees latest creation as i had seen a television ad for the Big Hardee. That masterpiece, if eaten regularly, was sure to bolster the pants manufacturing industry in Cambodia and cardiology wherever you happen to live. I put that hamburger concoction out of my mind.

However, today I noticed a newspaper coupon for a new Hardees breakfast item. Aptly named the Monster Biscuit, it's the morning equivalent of the Big Hardee. If you eat breakfast and lunch regularly at Hardees you will need a spreadsheet to calculate your caloric intake.

The Monster Biscuit contains a bottom biscuit, ham,cheese,sausage,cheese,egg,bacon, and a top biscuit! I'm suprised they left out the third piece of cheese and probably considered putting another layer of potatoes inside.

I'm disgusted, but when my cardiologists tell me I'm ready for the "big one", I'm heading directly to Hardees.