When They Say I'm Terminal, I'm Going To Hardees

I wasn't totally unprepared for Hardees latest creation as i had seen a television ad for the Big Hardee. That masterpiece, if eaten regularly, was sure to bolster the pants manufacturing industry in Cambodia and cardiology wherever you happen to live. I put that hamburger concoction out of my mind.

However, today I noticed a newspaper coupon for a new Hardees breakfast item. Aptly named the Monster Biscuit, it's the morning equivalent of the Big Hardee. If you eat breakfast and lunch regularly at Hardees you will need a spreadsheet to calculate your caloric intake.

The Monster Biscuit contains a bottom biscuit, ham,cheese,sausage,cheese,egg,bacon, and a top biscuit! I'm suprised they left out the third piece of cheese and probably considered putting another layer of potatoes inside.

I'm disgusted, but when my cardiologists tell me I'm ready for the "big one", I'm heading directly to Hardees.